


Florida Man

by king_kageyama



Category: Florida Man - Fandom, Original Work, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Florida Man Fic, this ones straight for the sin bin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 11:57:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20759978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/king_kageyama/pseuds/king_kageyama
Summary: In a world like this, Florida Man is the only saving grace. He will end the apocalypse. Florida Man will lead the change against darkness.





	Florida Man

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I know i havent posted in a year, and when I do, its this.
> 
> Im so sorry
> 
> Please enjoy

_ In a world like this, Florida Man is the only saving grace. He will end the apocalypse. Florida Man will lead the charge against the darkness.  _

* * *

While the world is crumbling under Trump's fifth term, a man stands tall amongst the crowd at his rally, its him, the Florida Man. 

He is shot immediately, but the people know he was a symbol of greatness. He has inspired them. Another rises from the crowd, it seems they are eternal. He effortlessly shakes an alligator off, the crowd cheers.

He floats towards the stage, his eyes glowing red as his neck. 

The crowd quiets in awe. He collapses from overdosing on his latest weed experiment, and the cycle continues. 

A sound from above, a sharp “YEE YEE” rings out above the crowd, silencing the orange man. “FOR MY BRETHREN” the man screams, before plummeting down to the stage, goose in hand.The goose breathes flames upon the cheeto man, and he goes up in a puff of smoke.

The Florida Man mimics his best Bigfoot call, and naruto runs towards the white house to topple the rest of the government, the other Florida Men gathering behind him.

They are all-powerful. No matter how many are gunned down, they shall rise again. 

They defeat the government after a long treacherous battle. 

The people are happy, but not for long. 

A new challenger approaches, oh God! 

Its Mike Pence!

A new being rises from the darkness to stand with Florida Man, it's the Florida Woman.

Murmurs go through the crowd. “Last we heard she was eating her husbands ashes” one bystander whispers. 

The woman turns. “I only fear my good friend Jesus” she ascends to meet the battle ahead. 

Florida Man follows, gator in tow, to face their next opponent. They kick off their flip flops for balance, and dropped into a fighting stance.

Their fighting stance is poor because they have only battled racoons and snakes, but they will make do and be victorious. It doesn't take the power duo long to defeat Pence, they are victorious once again. 

Peace pervades the land. Finally, we can rest.

They scuttle back to Florida, only to rise again when fully needed. The world lives in peace from then on. True freedom is known once more. 

The world enters a peaceful state. World hunger is solved, the homeless find homes, The children taken in, the schools filled with life. 

And for once, the Florida Man is a positive headline. 

_ FIN _


End file.
